dude, awesome

So, i was freaking bored sitting at home doing nothing. and you knw, when people ask me to go anywhere or hangin out, i'll be like, where? when? now? okay! lets go! haha. well, because maybe i was so bored to death. so then, popo asked me and wawa and other people hanging out dkt mid. and unfortunately it was only me and popo who made it. the other people, parents wont let them and probably too busy -.-' so it was just me and popo. you knw i dont mind, were good friends. infact best friends i think. so i dont worry too much about what people are going to say. it was like a nice friends day out you know. haha. so, we had like alot of gossips, and i told him part of my secrets. what best friends do. yep. then, he accompanied me looking for a job. we went stores to stores searching for job vacancy. so hm, yeap. i applied a job at couple of stores. sent my resume. at miss selfridge, hush puppies, and levis. yeah. so out of them, i probably want miss selfridge or levis. yeah. haha. okay.

so other than that i had a great day with my friend popo! we hung out at starbucks and played this drum game. it was so fuuunnny! i kept laughing. and it was hurtful. but fun. haha. and you knw. FINALLY! a decent friendship talk. in a long long longggg time. lol.

so bbye :)

couldnt be any better

i had gone through tough things these couple of days. just finished my spm and i thought that i can finally rest my shoulders. you know just chill and relax for a bit. but i had some bad lucks -.-'. right after spm, i had this thing on my neck. i started scratching because it was so hot and itchy. and this bump on my neck was like growing bigger and bigger, well not that big. being so extra. but, at first i thought i was facing thyroid and all those bullshits. thank god it wasnt. i was so worried, went straight away to the doctor. doc said i had few swelling bumps on my neck because of those rashes. and it wasnt just any rash. it could be serious if i hadnt gone to the doctor sooner. some kind of virus? well whatever it is, its not good. but anyways, its better now thank goodness.

yesterday, went out with aben. people dont call him that now, but i still like to call him that. reminds me of the olden days. haha. went breakfast. or lunch? idk. haha. okay. nothing really happen. it was pretty quiet being with him. not that i have nothing against with that. yeap. hm, right.

right after that, i had a fight with adan. uggh, it was far the worst fight ive ever got into. he kicked me, on the face, on both of my shoulders, and worst on my leg. i couldnt walk properly. it hurts really badly. i didnt even do anything, i just smacked him like for once. he did to me like loadsa times. then i really lost my temper. and i kindda smashed the remote on him :/ and the remote broke into pieces.

at that particular time, i had lost it. grab my bag. phone. purse. jacket and walked out the door. it was so tense. and i was crying because my leg hurts so badly. i was pushing my self to walk eventhough it will hurt me even more. but rather than going back home? i will lose my mind eventually! when i was walking, everyone was just staring at me. and i was wondering why. do i look like im running from home or something?! sheesh. and people were honking their vehicles at me! and i was like! sheesh people, giveee mee a breakkk! im trying to chill my mind here! and like some random guy just stopped by the side. offered me a lift. and i was like..."hehehe, nooo its okay. im fine" and walked really fast, because i was scared. i ignored the person. could be a nice person trying to help, but i couldnt trust strangers. sheesh, just let me walk by my self. then ada policeman, staring. i bet he was thinking what is wrong with my leg and why do i look like im running from something. so i tried to walk normally and trying to look like everythings fine. and the police just pass by, but still with a glance. and people still couldnt leave me alone. honking at me. then, arrived at kedai jalan 4, lepak mapley. and still, people stare. i had roti canai and fresh orange. but didnt finish my roti canai. i thought i was hungry. then i dont knw. i lost my appetite. after that, i went to 7 eleven. bought ice for my legs. yep. then head straight back home. but then, oh wait. it started pouring. and i couldnt care less. so walk in the cold rain. went straight back home. and i was wet. really wet.

i had a fight with him again today. infront of his friends. i went to warta with wawa. bought couple of things esp remote. ill be in so much trouble it i hadnt replace the remote. bought adrians birthday cake, and 2 game. guitar hero and bully. i went around there with wawa with my swollen leg. it hurts. but i just hold on to it with wawa's help. thank god she was there! :) yeah. then, went back home. celebrated adrians birthday. and its so stupid at this time. we lit the candles up. and adan just had to be stupid at that time. turned on the fan. -.-' and it blew all the candles just before adrian was about to blow the candles. stupid aint it? -.-'. yep. and mama and i scold him. but not really that bad. just a small scold. then he went upstairs. he throwed my guitar hero game outside. it was raining. habes rosak. kimak punya budak. i was mad. then mara la. he hit me again. very ignorant. i hate him! with his egos.

he is sooo not my lil brother anymore. i hate him, hate him. oh

HATE HIM!

SHEESH!

freeeeedooom!

SPM habis

no more school
no more
no more
no more

yeah baby! :D

confused

okay spm is like in 34 days away now. ive started my revision and did lots of exercise. and im a little confuse of what im going to do after spm. i mean, i dont knw whether i want to go to matrix or, doing stpm or diploma. i am just a little to late to apply matrix. i didnt knw any better. i thought matrix was dumb choice for me. but now im regretting. haha. naaah, i dont knw. let fate decides. ut hopefully i can take a good shot at my spm so i can apply more easily. lets just pray. amin :)

yesterday my mum did a little open house. she was like forcing me to invite my friends. and i wasnt in any mood. so i asked wawa to say to my classmates to come over whenever. (dorng convoy). they went to cg maisara's house, then mines, the fana's and tchr zaini and ustaza's. i hope they really enjoyed. im sorry to all my friends because of the very sweet syrup. we werent prepared and you guys arrived really early when i said it suppose to start at 2 -.-'. but i dont mind. i was actually shocked. nearly all my classmates were there. oh, and even 'he' came. at first i thought he will sit outside but he came in, finally. last year i invited him to come him, and he refuse. thats a little harsh to refuse -.-'. but whatever, i dont care anyway.

today i went to 3 open houses. my mum asked me to company her, so i did. went to my mums friends houses. and aunt nani's. my childhood friends while i was in england were there. they grew up. and hot. haha, tapi sombong. hmph -.-'

neways, im feeling a bit down these few days. felt like i am no longer important to my friends anymore. they care more about their boyfriends and other stuffs. they never listen to me. like whenever i tried to tell them something, they should be encouraging not membebel. and amariah is getting more happier. maybe a lil too happy. she has forgotten about her friend and more focused on her boyfriend. its getting a little annoying. and when was the lat time it was me, her, and wawa together along with akmal and bain? i was always with wawa and akmal. not with her. it really does dissapoint me. i dont want to come staright to her, because i knw it'll end up a fight. and she always find excuses. and im so tired of fighting. i feel so lonely. i have noone to talk to. it was never the same now. she changed.and why cant i?

he asked me whether i can be his..

(not what you think it is). i said i dont knw, wait until i can figure out if i can go or not. but im not sure i can. hm, its okay if i cant, there are lots and more prettier girls out there. go and catch them silly!

im not going to school today because most of the teachers arent going to enter my class. so i think im going to study at home instead.

2 days ago, i went raya ing. it was fun, but not as fun if i had wawa and amariah besides me. iw as alone. i was with azie, but she was busy with other people. i dont mind anyway. went to aima's, zahin's, hafizin's and akmal's :) haha. something that was not suppose to happen at akmal has..happened. but it was funny to think of it. lol

well. im going to study, or take a shower. lol

so little time

just got back from school :)
school was boring as always -.-
got results. for bi, addmaths, chemistry and BM.
i got a1 for BI.
failed add maths and add maths lost me
chemistry found me
BM? thank goodness! i passed. that means i passed everything!
phewww.
SPM is 40+ days to go.
and bbye :)

dissapointed

Just got back from school. and before that me and my friends went to jiman's open house. in fact, amariah just heard someone talking that she doesnt want us here and why jiman invited us? eugh. why does she have to say that. we didnt do anything to her -.-

im so dissapointed in myself. i feel like giving up already. got results

LK: dropped from A1 to B4. i got 62% i was like wtf? this isnt what i target. and can you imagine all this time i got A1 and i dropped to B4? omg. i feel like crying when i got the paper. the teacher was like explaining and i was like, um yeah yeah okay. my heart was racing. and i wanted to break down and cry. but i saw my other friends who got lower than me and they cried. but i dont care, i have to think about myself now, not them. i dont care about other people. i just hated it when someone got higher than me -.-

Physics: eugh. i got 58%. that is not good. i thought i got the highest. but then hafizin. he beated me, he got 62. and i was like shit! not good enough.but i beat zaki! :) but i still hate him

agama: cikgu kedekut markah. and, i got 59% jbdvfjsbv! its bullshit. mcm bodoh je. agama sendiri pon tk boleh score. zaki, as always got very high. wawa cried because she needed one more mark to get A2. now she knws how i feel towards LK. but i held on my tears.

sejarah: ive worked sooo bloody hard to A. but then i got a bloody C!

thats really it. im so dissapointed in myself. i rely my maths, sejarah, physics and LK to get a. but i didnt get a single A! how am i gonna tell my mum? :( zaki got 4A1 so far, and i got? nothing! i so hate him! why does he have to be so clever?

sometimes i realized that the teachers always helped the ones that are already smart. and they dont really help the noes who needed help! i hate that.

im so stupid :'(